Japan proves to be creatively bankrupt

[Don Chipotle]

It's time once again for me to watch the animes so you don't waste your time. Why? Because I care.

There was a time when I thought anime was good. There was a time when I thought anime was the kingshit, that everything was inferior next to anime. There was a time when I thought Elfen Lied was a good show.

There was a time when I thought anime was good and pure and creative.


There was a time before today, when I thought anime still had potential to be something special. But I'm sorry to say that today...anime has died.

It had a good run. But it's all over and it went out not with a bang


But with a Hundred



The name of today's show is Hundred. I'm a fan of a show called The 100 which is a show on The CW that started off as pretty teenagers from space being sent to Earth decades after a global apocalypse. Midway through it turned into some Lord of the Flies shit then spent an entire season making the a better Fallout than Fallout, decided to play Game of Thrones for a bit and now is just crazy. The 100 is a show largely about surviving and how there's really no good or bad but people forced to do whatever it takes to survive and it pulls this off wonderfully, with characters making decisions that have lasting consequences. The 100 is a great show.

Hundred on the other hand is none of these things and is in fact the death rattle of anime as a whole.


But I'm getting ahead of myself.





Always the best way to open up any show. You can tell that the situation is bad because the colors are dark. This is a cheap way to get around animating destruction because that would just take up more time.



This is a terribly designed thing. I'm guessing it's supposed to be some sort of insect but it just looks like garbage because it's dark colors on a dark background with vague things resembling a figure.



Well that's kind of rude don't you think? I'm sure that thing has a name. Possibly even a family. Racist.



I think this is supposed to be the now dead body of the girl he was with after the 'savage' shot a bigass laser at them (and the kid survived for no reason other than plot armor) but it's not made clear because this is how you do this sort of sequence. Fuck clever editing or animation and just make it hard to see anything. That'll work.



STOP OPENING YOUR STORIES WITH DREAM SEQUENCES. Dream sequences should never be used to introduce characters.



This is already a red flag. Anime always has to find new ways to explain why the best course when faced with global threats is to spend an insane amount of money on the impractical. In this case it's an island academy. You might think this is an entire island that is a school but it's worse than that.



Literal seconds after the generic intro (It's fucking called BLOODRED) we are told that our main character is a special fucking snowflake who is the most awesome at the titular thing.

Why should I care about someone that is the best at something, that's not how you write a compelling character in a shounen series.



Big Poppa Pump is the welcoming committee. Nice to see that he's taking a break from running a Shoney's franchise to put in work that matters.



Immediately everyone knows who he is and he is the most popular person in school. We don't know what the fuck a Hundred is or what makes him so good at it only that he's the fucking best and people should be lining up just to touch him.





This girl then tackles our hero and says how happy she is to see him and that she's a new student too.

Except she's actually a boy. Except no she isn't because just scroll the fuck up and look at the people in the first picture. But for the sake of argument let's refer to her as a he since that's what he's identifying as.



WHAT? NO!



This line of dialog comes immediately after two characters say "We'd like to introduce you to the student council president" just in case the audience couldn't connect dots that are literally touching each other.



Thanks for introducing us to her boobs first, anime, now I know exactly what kind of show this is




Not one I want to watch






So there's no staff at this place I take it? Yeah that'll work out just fine.



I mean, it seems pretty clear that she can and did. The world isn't black and white, my dude.



I just...I just can't get over the fact that this Aryan Princess (she's literally from the United States) is talking about how a bunch of pasty white people are going to round up and kill Savages.

Like come on. You can't think of a better name for your vague bug monsters than 'Savages'?




THIS DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW EITHER OF THEIR SCORES OR WHAT THESE SCORES IMPLY.

THIS IS LITERALLY MENTIONED LATER WHEN IT IS DISCOVERED THAT CLAIRE IS VERY EXPERIENCED IN COMBAT AND HAYATO HAS NONE AT ALL.

SCORES MEAN NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGG



So far Claire is the best character if only because she's the only one that doesn't put up with Hayato's shit just because he's supposedly the kingshit. I say that but really there are no characters here.

[Don Chipotle]

Even Hayto understands that this duel is a TERRIBLE IDEA.


This means nothing now, but later on Hayato will prove to be the most dense motherfucker on the planet so this shows how stupid this plan is.



I CAME HERE TO LAUGH AT YOU



So is no one going to question why there's a catgirl maid?

No?

Just wanna make sure




Them's the jokes!



This line makes no senseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeee

Is she or is she not a child prodigy? Being called a prodigy doesn't make her so



Oh sick, he's got his 8 sided die, he can join our DnD group



Then why at the start of the show were there military vehicles shown to be effective at taking them out what is consistency in story telling



This is the most vague ass shit. Hundred are just weapons, that's all they are. They don't change form, they just give the kids stupid weapons.



Show me the dragoon that uses fucking laser guns and I'll show you someone that ISN'T A GOD DAMN DRAGOON



Yeah because who needs armor when fighting giant Savages



Hayato is the most dense motherfucker on the planet



Jesus fucking Christ. Claire has a shitload of mini laser guns. Her cronies have giant fuckoff spears and shit. And the so called BEST AT USING HUNDRED just has a piss ass sword

I hate this so much right now



IT'S NOT FUCKING COOL

IT'S JUST A FUCKING SWORD



This is how you know that Emilie is actually a girl because no anime aimed at teen boys would give a male an ass shot like this



LOOK HOW MUCH COOLER THIS IS THAN A FUCKING SWORD



Emilie proceeds to beat the shit out of the inexperienced Hayato


THIS IS HOW LITTLE SCORES MATTER




No shit? Someone in the hospital isn't healthy? Fuck outta here!

[Don Chipotle]

Sickly Siblings, not just the latest in incest pornography.



This is L I T E R A L L Y the fifth female character that has been introduced via boobs



Every new scene in this show is worse than the last


The opening scene is like a 10/10 compared to everything after it




You would think that Hayato would be like "WHOA YOU'RE A GIRL?"



BUT NOPE.

Hayato is the most dense motherfucker on the planet

If they don't have 'torpedos' then they may as well be boys



Of course they are



Why should I care about the female characters when the show just makes them boobs



SHE HAS A COOLER WEAPON THAN A FUCKING SWORD



And then the episode just fucking ends after twenty minutes of no world building, terrible character introductions, a plot that didn't flow together at all, and nothing original to be found at all. Go on, find something creative with this show. I dare you.

But then the worst part?

The ending song is Eyes On Me. Motherfucker we all know there's only one Eyes On Me in this world and it ain't fucking this.





Don't watch this show. Don't support trash. There are better shows with boobs and there are better shows with action. Just stop.

[Yvlla]

Wait, they have an academy ship called a Garden? FF wants its shit back.

Originally Posted by Revenge of Don Chipotle

Well that's kind of rude don't you think? I'm sure that thing has a name. Possibly even a family. Racist.

Ha.

Originally Posted by Revenge of Don Chipotle

Jesus fucking Christ. Claire has a shitload of mini laser guns. Her cronies have giant fuckoff spears and shit. And the so called BEST AT USING HUNDRED just has a piss ass sword
I hate this so much right now

You can tell he's the main character by his generic weapon.

There is good anime being made out there, though. Most notably, and predictably for me, Berserk is getting its second arc animated after what like 20 years this summer. I also hear tell the Jojo series is still going strong, but that's just hearsay. And my friends all went ballistic over One Punch Man, saying it was the most compelling thing they saw since watching DBZ as a kid. I watched a few episodes and didn't get it, but...

Animu Naito pt. 2 just started a couple weeks ago - schedules got out of sync, and they're back in sync. OPM is on the horizon, but we're watching Akame ga Kill now, it's not bad yet 4 episodes in. Also in the hat are something 13 something and TTGL.

[Raist Classic]

I am suddenly interested in petitioning Droog for his expert opinion on better alternative boob shows.

[Don Chipotle]

Originally Posted by El Raisto returns!

I am suddenly interested in petitioning Droog for his expert opinion on better alternative boob shows.

Do you want me to make a list?

[Raist Classic]

Obv. There needs to exist in this universe a list of Droog-Approved Quality Boob Shows.

[Dark Luther]

Never get tired of these...

[Lancet Jades]

Originally Posted by Dark Luther

Never get tired of these...

This is a good point. Droog, you should make threads like these more often. Anime, and maybe movies! Relive all of your worst experiences and go through lots of effort just to entertain us briefly.