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Old 12-18-2018   #1
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GOTY 2018 Awards

GOTY

Kingdom Come: Deliverance.

The game is the hardcore Bethesda clone I always needed. The "Drunken Priest" scene is one of the most endearing cutscenes I've seen in a AAA game in a while.

RU: Monster Hunter World.
For lack of other options. Not many new games out this year that were for me.

Best Patch / DLC

Path of Exile: Betrayal.

Grinding Gear Games has been sowing the seeds for this patch for the last year or so, and finally pulled everything they've worked on together for one magnificent masterpiece. I can say with confidence now: Path of Exile is the best game on the market right now. I might even like it more than FF6 now - and that's WITH nostalgia glasses on.

RU: Crusader Kings 2: Holy Fury.
It was REALLY close. That PoE could put out one of the best updates to a game in history and STILL have been given a run for its money is really something.

ANTI-GOTY

Call of Duty: Black Ops 4.

My jaw dropped when I heard all the questionable design decisions from a friend who got roped into it, and how stifling for certain playstyles it was. Like, you're making a generic FPS that you've made a dozen times before, you'd think you'd be good at this by now.

RU: Fallout 76.
The game took risks, stupid risks, but risks nonetheless, or it would be ANTIGOTY for sure.

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Old 12-18-2018   #2
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Old 12-19-2018   #3
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When have I ever played my ANTIGOTY?

That said, I know more about the game than most others that came out this year, since my friends were playing it on Discord for a couple months, and I would feign interest.

If I have to have played my ANTIGOTY for it to count, then my ANTIGOTY would be Monster Hunter World, despite the fact that it's also my #2 game of the year, due to the extreme contrast of good features and bad features. I've never played a worse multiplayer game (it penalizes the shit out of you for having friends), and some of the other mechanics are just as baffling. But it manages to be decent in spite of all that.
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Old 12-28-2018   #4
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This list is missing flair. Let me fix that.


The Nintendo Award For Incredibly Obtuse and Shitty Multiplayer


Battle/Rotten Vale

Monster Hunter is a very weird franchise and I've never truly understood the appeal. Any time people talked about it the Monster Hunter fans start rambling like someone trying to explain why their favorite anime is awesome to someone whose idea of anime starts and stops with Dragon Ball Z. The nightmare stories of poor controls, poorer explanation of systems, and archaic design decisions always stuck with me even despite people talking about the rush or excitement of killing a big dumb dinosaur thing. So naturally when Monster Hunter World came out and everyone was saying how this one is the one for everyone, I gave it a shot. Tuns out everyone is a fucking liar because this game is still bad at explaining shit and the supposed quality of life improvements mean fuckall to me when this is my first and only foray into the franchise. A game where you're dumped into the world and told "Okay now pick a weapon blind" and then offers the single worst tutorial for the kind of combat mechanics is insane. Not to mention how deliberate it all feels with the animations locking you in; this game is awful for new people as the first couple hours wind up making the monster fights more tedious than exciting. Nothing kills momentum and excitement faster than getting into a groove and then the monster fucking off and you having to chase its ass down or stopping in the middle of it to sharpen your fucking weapon. It's a cumbersome interface to say the least and I dropped off the game hard once I realized the game was just grinding against the same monsters until you were good enough to grind against slightly bigger monsters.

But all that aside, what the fuck was Capcom thinking with the multiplayer integration in this? A game like this practically begs to be played in groups but at every single turn it does the worst goddamn thing and makes grouping up a greater feat than killing a fucking Odogaron. Why can't people group up if someone hasn't seen the cutscenes yet? Why do they have to finish a mission before being able to join a group to do the same fucking mission? Why do you have to go to a separate area of the hub to start a party when there are already like three too many menus in the game as is? Does Japan have the memo that online gaming has existed for over two decades at least? I just want to kill a stupid monster with some buddies, not apply for fucking MENSA.


The 'You Forgot This Game Came Out This Year' Award



Admit it, you forgot about this one. 2018 has been a long year.

The Hideo Kojima Award for Game Developer That Needs to Be Ousted for His Own Good Because His Game Is Trash


Hostage

Why do people keep giving David Cage chances? Ever since Heavy Rain (and let's be real, even before then) his games have been held up as like must haves by the gaming press even though all of his 'interactive drama' games are bad at everything they set out to be. They are bad at being interactive because you'll be clutching the controller like a fucking chimp trying to hit the right Simon Says button prompt to open a fucking microwave and then you'll just hold down the R2 button to walk around drab environments while your character moves their head around like they're trying to give themselves whiplash. As dramas they're even worse. Indigo Prophecy managed to take an initially interesting premise and completely drop the fucking ball in ways never thought possible at the time - and the game came out - and it came out in a post-MGS2 world so people were at least familiar with dropping the ball in ways never thought possible. Heavy Rain is even worse given its godawful twist and the cut content that still is in the game somewhat which opens plot threads that go nowhere. Beyond: Two Souls is somehow even worse as both game and narrative that is just barely kept afloat by actual actors carrying the script.

Detroit: Become Human manages to be the worst of them all by virtue of being just incredibly uninspired at best and utterly tone deaf at worst.

Here is a game where David Cage likes to think he's saying something new and novel while at the same time managing to make a game and story that says nothing in the most ridiculous way possible. For every interesting moment visually or narratively (of which there are maybe two and a half) there are four moments that drag the whole thing down. Here is a game where one of the protagonists crawls himself out of an android junkyard using obvious rebirth and hell imagery only to IMMEDIATELY grab a trenchcoat blowing in the wind as he walks away in slow motion in a trenchcoat in the rain. Here is a game where a kindly black woman mentions, straight faced, to an android trying to get up north where androids are free, that her people used to be slaves too. Here is a game about racism and slavery where the standins for black people can literally just remove the one thing that marks them as androids, which kind of defeats the greater point and purpose and raises far more questions than it should. This game comes off like David Cage knows that racism exists but he doesn't know how to make a story about it despite really wanting to, because in David Cage's world the answer to racism is just having two androids kiss.

I'm not even kidding. My ending resolved 'peacefully' because the revolutionary robot man kissed a robot girl and that made people understand that the robots are people. Racism is over because colored people can feel love too. I'm not saying David Cage is a bad person, I'm just saying he doesn't know any better and he thinks these concepts are novel and revolutionary. Much like Hideo Kojima, David Cage needs someone to tell him his ideas suck since both of these auteurs are really bad at writing games yet constantly get praised for it anyway.

The Award For Biggest Genuine Surprise



Onrush came out earlier in the year to very little fanfare and I admit I didn't even play it until it became free on PS Plus but man, what a fun thing this game is. It's basically arcade driving game MOBA and if that doesn't immediately sell you then I don't know what else will. It handles well, it plays fast and exciting, and it's probably going to be a dead game come January.


The Third Best Thing Featuring Spider-Man Award


The Golden Age

First and second place are obviously Into The Spiderverse and Infinity War. The most important thing about this game is that they got swinging right. For many that's all they needed to do and they did it well. Traversing the city in this game was never not an enjoyable experience and it's one of the few games where I didn't want to actually ever use fast travel. The other thing that this game got right was the interpersonal story bits. Not every narrative beat worked, but enough did to make the story genuinely hit. The relationships of Peter Parker are handled especially well even if some of the specifics, like Mister Negative, don't exactly work as well as they probably intended.

But a game like this is more than just swinging and storytelling and it's in these elements that the game shows its limitations. Spider-Man isn't a bad game so much as it is a very repetitive one. There are only about four crime activities in the game and to get the upgrades/suits you have to do all of them across every single district in the game - and then again near the end when more crime unlocks - and I don't care how good your game is, if you make me sit through the same exact car stopping animation forty god damn times, I'm going to think less of you. The combat is fine but sometimes in the midst of it it can be difficult to differentiate between enemy types other than 'big guy' and 'okay this guy flies i guess?' since the grunts are all pretty much identical except sometimes they have rocket launchers. And the less said about the stealth levels the better.

The pillars holding this game up are its swinging and its story and to the game's credit those pillars are strong. I was never outright bored with the game, hell I got the platinum trophy, but around the halfway point when I'd been doing the same crime stuff and the same type of side mission I kept finding myself thinking that the sequel to this game is probably going to be spectacular. I will play Marvel's Spider-Man 2. That's high praise, really.


The 'Thank God Fallout 76 Came Out' Award



I don't know who thought a brawler starring a deaf protagonist wherein the game has live action cut scenes with no audible dialog or subtitles at all was a good idea but whoever it was I'd like to shake their hand and thank them for providing me with the funniest game of 2018. Nothing, and I mean nothing in this game is good but everything about it is hilariously inept. The drab environments, the awful animations, the lack of helpful, user friendly UI, the fact that there are like five minute cutscenes of people talking to a deaf person while you just watch what might as well be a mime show, the audacity of the game to suggest playing through it a second time only this time they put subtitles on so you know the actual story...it's the perfect shitshow of a game. It's the kind of game we really don't get anymore and while the gaming world was quick to descend on Bethesda for Fallout 76 (who honestly thought that game was going to be good?), The Quiet Man is, fittingly, the quiet vote for worst game of the year. Seriously, don't play it but at least watch it being played. It's a fucking ride and a half.

The Games That Will Win All the Awards But Don't Deserve To





Deliverance

Outlaws From the West

If nothing else, games like God of War continue a trend of video game characters getting older along with its audience.

God of War has never been a franchise I was overly fond of. As an action game it wasn't as fun or fluid as its contemporaries - specifically Devil May Cry 3 - and the story being told along with its central character stopped being interesting as soon as the first game ended and the sequel came out. Kratos was always this character that was anger first and depth second which made the ultimate ending in God of War 3 play as limply as Kratos crawling his way off screen as he did. When the new one was announced I scoffed at the idea of turning one of video gaming's most baffling icons into a serious character with, like, character and growth and thought there was no way they could pull it off. I was wrong. Turns out that I kind of really like the new Kratos, the weary and beaten Kratos who is trying hard at being a father to a son that truly doesn't understand him.

My problems come not from the portrayal of Kratos - who I actually came away from the game wanting to see more of - but everything surrounding him in the game. Credit where credit is due, the studio had a vision for their game and they hit it by all accounts. THe problem is that their vision so often came at the cost of making a game that was fun to play. It's kind of fitting that the new God of War still manages to be a worse action game than its contemporaries - this time being, like, Platinum Games or the upcoming Devil May Cry 5; in a year where Bayonetta 1 and 2 were re-released I had more fun with those games and their combat than I did with God of War. Because God of War is so married to its one-take, one-shot style of presentation, the combat suffers tremendously both because of how much slower it is and because the closer camera means that there's no good way to relay enemy positions if they're not within your limited field of vision. Having the kid shout isn't effective when there's so much other on screen language and audio and the color coded radar really shows its limits when you're faced with enemies in front of you that you have to perfectly counter to even attack but oh no you're hit out of it because while you're focused on one thing the enemy behind just wallops you.

The combat is slower and sluggish but worse there's so little variety in the enemy design. Every single 'miniboss' is a big stupid troll with a giant club with the only difference being one is blue and one is red oh but this one is slightly green. Once an enemy is introduced there's no real variation on them except for if you go to a new area sometimes the enemy might have a slightly bigger number than yours - more on that in a bit. So many of the enemies are just unfun to fight and I was tired of fighting trolls after my third one had the exact same kill animation. I started to build Kratos and Atreus around stunning not because it was fun but because it would get me out of combat that much quicker. Combat became a chore, and in an action game that's the last thing you want. But in a game where there's only two weapons I guess that's how it goes.

God of War's menus and level system are, in a word, poor. It becomes a matter of just getting the orange gear that has the one stat you care about and putting it on but there's so little feedback in the game proper that half the time when I put on something that had a loss in attack points I didn't even notice it. The real mind boggling aspect is how much the game doesn't actually want to explore it until later. At various points the lake hub will open up new areas or expand upon old ones but a good chunk of the time if you go there as soon as it opens, to do side quests or to find upgrades or whatever, the game will tell you not to be there by putting in stronger enemies. It puts you on a set path to follow the narrative while then telling you that side stuff is open only to then slam the door in your face if you get to a side area that you're not supposed to do yet. The game is so railroaded and faux-open that if you come back and do a side quest later on after some plot dumps the game acts like those plot dumps never happened. The pacing of the story ruins a lot of goodwill the story has. I lost count of how many times I got to my current goal only for the characters to be blocked by something easily traversable or solvable and then to have them decide the best way to proceed is to go back the way we came and try something else.

As an action game it's mediocre. As an RPG it's lacking in player freedom and choice. As a narrative it is overlong and plodding. As a game I can't call it bad but it's not a game I'll ever come back and play through.

And then there's Red Dead Redemption 2.

There's a lot that can be said about Red Dead Redemption 2 and all of it, I'm sure, is positive. The game is incredibly polished, almost impeccably detailed (for better or worse), and it is likely a landmark in open world game design. Rockstar has crafted an incredibly rich world that is easy to get immersed in with memorable locales and the feeling of wanting to know what's just over the horizon or what that plume of smoke in the distance is going to be (it's going to be gangs or a friendly guy or people who tell you to fuck off). What they haven't crafted is a fun game.

That's harsh and I'm sure those of you who are all in on the game are ready to say how much fun you're having and that's fine. This is an opinion and despite the way it is presented, I'm not trying to speak as the authority that dictates how you should and shouldn't enjoy something. But considering the game and its emphasizes I'm not sure that 'fun' was at the top of the list of things Rockstar wanted to accomplish.

Video games tend to provide the player with a near constant loop of stuff that either feels meaningful or rewards you in such a way to make you want to do another one. This is especially noticeable in open world games and action games or games with RPG elements. Take for example Spider-Man. You can barely swing for thirty seconds without a crime popping up or a thing to distract you from the main story. You do it, you get your bar filled up, and you're on your way. Some games have that satisfaction in a less obvious fashion. Dark Souls, for example, is a game pretty much built around small victories that, when accomplished, provides the player the motivation to keep going through to the next area. Most games have that in mind, making the player feel rewarded outside of the game as much as they are inside of it.

Red Dead Redemption 2 does the exact opposite.

From its opening moments it presents itself as a game that is less interested in meaningful progression and more in the often laborious nature of frontier life in the turn of the century America. One of the first things in the game you do is ransack a house and what would normally be a quick little animation in other games is a drawn out, meticulous process. Looting enemies in RDR2 takes twice as long as it does in other games. And it's not just that, while animation priority is all over the place in the game even something as intrinsically linked to video games as controlling it is an often grueling process. The game does a frankly terrible job at introducing one of its core systems: horse riding. Riding the horse rarely feels fun and going at galloping speeds rarely pays off given the obtuse and badly explained method of keeping higher speed while minimizing stamina loss of the horse. The default movement speed for Arthur is walking. Every single thing about the game is designed around going as slow as possible. Which, while deliberate, is not exactly fun.

Western films are often slow, sweeping narratives that build tone through inaction and score. Rockstar clearly goes for something in the style of Once Upon a Time in the West but the problem is that western films, while often long, are, by nature of being films, an inactive media. Games aren't, and the greatest sin a game can do is waste your time. RDR 2 commits this sin at every single opportunity. The game is at its absolute best when it's just a hunting game, a simulator of frontier life. Tracking the various animals, studying them, and getting the perfect clean kill on the three star deer is as satisfying the twentieth time as it is the first and it's not surprising that the hunting mechanic is the one that is most obviously linked to player progression. Every perfect pelt or animal part feeds into satchel upgrades or unique outfits while legendary creatures reward you with trinkets that provide passive buffs. It's just about the only aspect of the game that has any meaningful progression to it.

That ultimately the systems they introduce wind up being useless is just further proof of how much the game is interested in wasting your time.

So much of the game is spent not interacting with it to the point where it's easier to just put it on cinematic view since the way the game does fast travel is ultimately pointless and a further waste of time. To even fast travel you have to go back to camp and interact with a map and select your location when you'll be treated with sweeping cinematic shots of Arthur riding out in a more condensed version of normal travel with the cinematic mode on. Sure, there are stagecoaches and trains but you still have to ride to a town or station and go through the motions there. It's more realistic and, yes, immersive than just opening the map and selecting a location but it becomes an exercise in tedium when you have to go back to your camp at the southern point on the map when you've been out hunting up near Valentine and you've seen the same stretch of land five times over only this time you might encounter one of the five or so random events where the only difference is now it's a woman being carted off by the law instead of a guy or it's a Mexican challenging you to a shoot off instead of a white guy.

It comes off like RDR2 wants you to interact with its world as little as possible. It's more interested in having you look at its vast plains and murky swamps than in providing any sort of meaningful experience. Sure, you have the option of causing chaos and generally being an asshole but the game actively discourages this (doubly so in the story, more on that later) by jacking up prices and making it harder to actually travel around the place. The optional robberies not tied to character side missions are rarely worth the hassle. Maybe it's attempting to make some greater commentary on the inevitability of the outlaw way of life with how hollow and dull it is just shooting up a town or random pedestrians but the game isn't that clever. Because if it was the story wouldn't be so incredibly shallow and on the nose.

Look, it has to be said: Rockstar games aren't well written. The first Red Dead Redemption is remembered for its third act and ending more than anything else because three quarters of that game is spent having various characters telling John Marston that they'll tell him information "in due time". What Rockstar games do is take broad inspiration from different sources and slap it into an open world with their own twists on the narrative. GTA 3 is Goodfellas or any of those mafia type films, GTA Vice City may as well be Scarface fanfiction with a side of Miami Vice. San Andreas starts as Menace 2 Society with a side of New Jack City and To Live and Die in L.A. among many others. This is nothing new. Rockstar games have always worn their inspirations on their sleeves but the narratives in them have never been truly great; the moments have been.

Red Dead Redemption 2's narrative isn't particularly good nor is it well told and worst of all it has the lingering feeling of wanting to say something that's already been said so instead of trying to make a point it just references it. This is especially present in chapter three's rival family thing and chapter six where the most the game says about the Native Americans and the American government is essentially "Boy the natives sure did get fucked over." The characters in the gang are not given really any time to shine or develop organically beyond what they're introduced as. Charles and Sadie are clearly supposed to be the 'good' characters given that they get more screentime than most at the start and end respectively but Charles spends the duration of his introduction mission explaining that he's got Indian blood in him because that's the start and stop of his role in the game: he's got Indian blood so he's good at hunting and treats buffalo as sacred. Sadie gets it worse of all since her development essentially just happens. In the span of one mission she goes from angry onion cutter to trigger happy shooting cowgirl just because "My husband and I shared the work." Sure, that's fine, but what work did you guys do that turned you into a fearless gunslinger all of a sudden.

The game being a prequel doesn't immediately ruin the tension of scenes (though every single time John fucks up on a job it really doesn't work) nor should it mean that the new characters should just be forgotten about. But the game isn't interested in the gang much at all so much as it is with Dutch and Arthur and John - two characters that we already know a great deal about. The story of Dutch's descent into crazy town wasn't something that I left the first game needing and having played RDR 2? I still don't think it was needed considering it happens basically with the snap of fingers. Rather than use the opportunity to shine a light on the gang members or the underdeveloped characters from the first (like Javier), it just...doesn't. Javier in RDR 2 is barely a footnote and even more forgettable than in the first game - and he was really only 'memorable' in the first game because of his outlandish sombrero. None of the gang members really grow or develop or do anything beyond what they're introduced as. Sean is Irish so he gets drunk. Pearson cooks and was in the Navy. Bill is an idiot. Lenny is young and colored in a time and area where colored folk were still looked down on (something that never factors in and is yet more example of Rockstar saying nothing while trying to say something).

When the characters inevitably start dropping it's not treated as a somber moment and rarely, if ever, are you supposed to actually care. It's more just for the sudden shock factor because no matter when it happens, by the next mission everyone basically moves on and forgets about it. The story cares more about a kidnapped kid (that you know is going to be fine) then mourning its own characters. This wouldn't be such a big deal if it wasn't indicative of a larger problem with the game: that it's wasting your time.

The mission structure of the game is about as creatively bankrupt as can be. Ninety percent of the time the missions start with you talking to someone in the gang, they set up the job, you ride and talk on your horse, get to a place, and shoot people or steal things, then ride away while shooting people. It's an unsatisfying loop because of how similar and uninspired it all is. When every mission ends in a gunfight it makes missions feel like a chore. If the goal is to make the missions where there isn't a gunfight more memorable by association then maybe they should've come up with better mission structure overall. The shooting isn't even all that good so why so many missions just end in gunfights feels less like a conscious decision for fun and more "Well it's a Rockstar game so you have to shoot guns."

Chapter 5 of the game through to the end is one giant slog with the most heavy handed delivery of theme and message short of just having Arthur and other characters turn to the camera and say "Doing bad things is wrong!" In a game that wants to be subtle and sweeping in the visual and world design, that same subtlety is lost when it comes to the writing. They telegraph the ending down to the point where they do the comical touch of having voice over narration hit you over the head with what I'm sure they thought was deep, meaningful wisdom. It's eye-rollingly bad, especially given everything that led up to the ending bits.

The most interesting aspect of the ending bits of the game are its willingness to just say how ultimately pointless its own introduced mechanics and systems are. Your weight management? Your gang upgrades? Doesn't matter. Because Red Dead Redemption 2 is a game about wasting your time.

I have no doubt that Red Dead Redemption 2 will sweep GOTY awards and it is an incredibly polished game. It might even deserve to win those awards on technical merits alone. But the game just isn't fun except for when it's a western themed Cabella's game. It aspires to Sergio Leone heights but it's more on par with Michael Cimino's Heaven's Gate.

I don't like Red Dead Redemption 2. I can't call it a bad game. It is a fascinating game that I never want to play again. Because who has all that time to waste?


The Award For 'Should've Been Called Something Else'



Legend of the Eagle-Bearer

Holy shit they fixed Assassin's Creed. How, you ask? By turning it away from stealth action and turning it instead into a full on god damn open world RPG. Origins had trappings of this new direction, what with a loot system and a skill tree and open world side quests and stuff, but Odyssey takes all the stuff introduced in Origins and improves on it to the point where I don't even know why it's called Assassin's Creed other than brand recognition. Odyssey takes place about 300 years BEFORE Origins so you're not even technically an Assassin so if ever there was a reason to rebrand, here it is. Odyssey is an RPG set in ancient Greece during the Peloponnesian War where you choose between Alexios or Kassandra on your journey. In a main series first, you can actually play the whole game as a female and considering Kassandra is basically considered canon it's good that Kassandra is far and away the best protagonist since Edward Kenway.

Odyssey is so much an RPG that there are dialog trees. It's not like BioWare style but it's more involved than, say, Fallout 4, but it's such a little thing that goes a long way to making the game feel more...personal. It's not really a matter of picking the red or blue option and getting rewarded accordingly. Choices can impact missions, how other characters interact with you, and even the ending. There are many systems at work here, even something similar to Metal Gear Solid 5's recruitment. You can recruit soldiers and NPCs to be on your mercenary boat crew an you do that by knocking them out instead of killing them and then telling them to work for you. You're encouraged to scout an area, find someone who might be a good fit for your boat, and then plan your attacks accordingly. Naval combat returns and with it comes a whole second host of upgrade trees. And there's a whole system of mercenaries that you can work your way up the ladder of if you want, three main branching story paths for you to pursue at your leisure, romance, war battles, beautiful set pieces...it's almost exhausting the amount of stuff to do in this game and this is before factoring in the free content updates the game had before dropping its first story DLC.

Assassin's Creed Odyssey is super fucking good. I'm gonna give it my GOTY award and go one step beyond and give Ubisoft my 'Best Developer of the Year' because between Odyssey and Far Cry 5 being just pure fun carnage to play, I've had a good relationship with Ubisoft this year.

Who woulda thought.
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How dreamlike to see my x-sisters, outside the context of a Papa Song dome. They sang Papa Song’s Psalm, over and over; background hydraulics underbassed that sickening melody. But how jubilant they sounded! Their Investment was paid off. The voyage to Hawaii was under way, and their new life on Xultation would shortly begin... Watching them from the hangway, I envied their certainty about the future.

Last edited by Don Chipotle; 12-28-2018 at 11:35 AM.
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Old 12-29-2018   #5
Hikari Tsukishiro
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!
Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!Hikari Tsukishiro is a star, a bright shining star!
But I love quiet man! Where else can you have a mom-girlfriend surrogate and worst dad ever it's so bad it's good?
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