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"Take a moment to admire your work. It's not just an iron dagger. You pulled metal from the ground and forged it into a tool that can end lives. Respect what you've made."
- Blacksmithing Basics
(The Elder Scrolls Online)


"The truth is always a threat to evil men."
- The Prophet
(The Elder Scrolls Online)


"I don't want revenge. I want your submission."
- Molag Bal
(The Elder Scrolls Online)


"Medium-duty commercial truck for heavy-duty consumers. Finally, it's a pick-up to go with your two gallon sodas and twenty piece buckets for one. And the ultra-powerful engine can haul you out your bedroom when you weigh in at three tons."
- Descrpition of the Vapid Guardian
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Cross country bike that can literally go across the country. Over-sized gas tank, increased durability, long-travel suspension, blood guards. You'll want one of these in your garage when society inevitably collapses."
- Description of the Dinka Enduro
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Whether you're filling it with buddies or filling it with bodies, it's good to have some room in the back. Believe in experience and buy the van that's seen more crime scenes than network TV - the Declasse Gang Burrito."
- Description of the Declasse Gang Burrito
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"The perfect car to go with your flesh tunnel earrings, frosted spikes, and oversize jeans. Buy this and you'll never fail to be mistaken for a small town drug dealer again."
- Description of the Karin Kuruma
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Mint condition Rat-Loader. This 1930s pickup truck looks like you just drove it out of the Bravado dealership with a quart of moonshine in your pocket and the great depression on your mind."
- Description of the Bravado Rat-Truck
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Favorite 50s pickup of San Andreas Lowriders and Liberty City bikers. Smooth lines, chrome details, and shiny paintwork have made the Vapid Slamvan the toy of choice for idiots who won't grow up everywhere."
- Description of the Vapid Slamvan
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"French design and Italian construction, so expect style over substance and regular breakdowns. The Pigalle, a high performance coupe, is an icon of 70s motoring and bad taste. No wonder the ironically disposed love it."
- Description of the Lampadati Pigalle
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Perhaps THE classic American muscle car. Compact four door sedan made for the greatest generation and lusted after by their jaded children. Cheap to make, and one of the highest-selling new cars in American history - this is what classic American cars were once all about."
- Description of the Vapid Blade
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"The legendary Swedish four door sedan. All the boxy design of a 1980s Vulcar, with none of the reliability. For lovers of tight jeans, micro breweries, and 70s cop shows."
- Description of the Vulcar Warrener
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"What's known in the trade as a "drug dealers car". 1990s luxury German four door sedan turned 2010s roving depot for stepped-on cocaine. Expect to get stopped by the cops and stuck up by junkies."
- Description of the Benefactor Glendale
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Nothing says post-irony like a retro futuristic American jelly bean car. Small with a wide glass ass to showcase your samurai bun and allow for 360 degree Snapmatic photography."
- Description of the Declasse Rhapsody
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"The giant German carmaker's leap into the micro market. Designed for the narrow, parking space deprived roads of Europe, this is sure to stick out on the eight lane freeways, and in the mile-wide parking lots of Los Santos, until you get crushed by an SUV driven by an over-medicated housewife."
- Description of the Benefactor Panto
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Don't think of this as buying a rusty pick-up truck with shoddy brakes; think of it as buying a piece of history. The 1930s look is huge right now, so you'll have to act fast if you want to beat the hipsters to the punch. We know you'll treasure this classic Rat-Loader from Bravado just as much as the previous 19 owners did."
- Description of the Bravado Rat-Loader
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"A compact, lightweight, off-road recreational vehicle, BF likes to pitch the Bifta as the world's original dune buggy (i.e. they forgot to patent the design so the market's now flooded with carbon copies from other manufacturers)."
- Description of the BF Bifta
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Is it a truck? Is it a golf cart? Is it a bathtub on wheels? It's whatever you want it to be. The Kalahari is a super-lightweight off-road utility vehicle used by the French army, which possibly explains why they're always so late to everything."
- Description of the Canis Kalahari
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Get her dirty. She loves it. Cover her with dirt. Take her to vile places she has never been before. Pop wheelies. Get crazy. Woof."
- Description of the Maibatsu Sanchez dirtbike
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Ah, America in the 1950s. It's easy to spot the moment when Freudian psychosexual theory met car design and what a glorious pairing it was. This Coquette couldn't be more phallic if it was dragging a pair of hairy beach balls. It even smells like cigar smoke, conservative values, and semen. Get out your check book because this golden age of repression won't resurrect itself."
- Description of the Invetero Coquette BlackFin
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Tell your neighbors you bought the Progen for its 'fuel efficiency' and reduced 'carbon' emissions, when you really got it because they hooked an electric motor to a twin-turbocharged V8engine just to give it extra juice. Like a toaster in a bathtub, this is a dangerous synthesis of technologies old and new. Be progressive in the only real sense of the word."
- Description of the Progen T20 supercar
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Good looking and liable to explode at any moment - the only way this could be more of an Italian stereotype would be if it had mommy issues. The Casco is a 50s classic for polymaths and pederasts."
- Description of the Lampadati Casco
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"When they call them 'organ donors', they aren't thinking of motorbikes that'll go so fast you'll be liquidated when you hit a wall. Live fast, die young, leave a long gristly skid mark along the highway."
- Description of the Dinka Thrust
(Grand Theft Auto V)


"Mozu: Can you squish an apple with one hand?
Effie: Mozu, I can crush a tree trunk with one hand."
- Mozu and Effie, on fruit
(Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest)


"You have the little boy castrated. You're a real piece of work, aren't you?"
- When castrating a child
(Crusader Kings 2)

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