Chicken Little
11-27-2004, 10:52 PM
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 10:04 AM
Subject: Bonus Question
> The following is supposedly an actual question given on a university
> chemistry exam.
>
> The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it
with
> colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
> pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs
> heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
> cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
> So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate
> at which they are leaving.
> I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will
not
> leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
> Religions that exist in the world today.
> Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell.
>
> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
>
> belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
>
> in Hell to increase exponentially.
> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law
> states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
> same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
> breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
> that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take
>
> into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must
>
> be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>
> over.
> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows
> that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving
> only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
> why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 10:04 AM
Subject: Bonus Question
> The following is supposedly an actual question given on a university
> chemistry exam.
>
> The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it
with
> colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
> pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs
> heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
> cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
> So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate
> at which they are leaving.
> I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will
not
> leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
> Religions that exist in the world today.
> Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell.
>
> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
>
> belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
>
> in Hell to increase exponentially.
> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law
> states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
> same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
> breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
> that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take
>
> into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must
>
> be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>
> over.
> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows
> that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving
> only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
> why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"