Superman is a) gay, b) Jesus, or c) Nietzschean hero?

[Kaffee]

Superman is a) gay, b) Jesus, or c) Nietzschean hero?

http://popwatch.ew.com/photos/uncategorized/143249__super_l.jpg

If Superman had an office, he'd be sitting in it right now, superfingers massaging his supertemples, staring at a phone that won't stop ringing. "Man, oh man," he'd sigh, "everybody wants a piece of Superman. Can't a guy just Return already?"

Everyone does want a piece of Supes, of course. Because Superman belongs to everyone. For weeks, the Superman-is-gay debate has raged, focusing on the duality of Supes' personality, his hidden identity, his suppressed fabulousness. (No, no, no! say the filmmakers, with utter predictability.)

There's the Superman-is-Jesus thesis, centering on his function as a "savior" and the fact that he's a man, yet not a man. There's also the reading of Superman-as-immigrant, or, more specifically, as the quintessential American Jew: Cast out of his birthplace, his power waxes as he assimilates. And, theologically speaking, that's not incompatible with the idea of a Messiah. (Supes was created by two Jews, after all.)

And then there's the idea that Superman is, well, a superman, in the Nietzschean sense, an idea best advanced by David Carradine's Kill Bill Vol. 2 speech, which notes that Clark Kent is Superman's chosen disguise, his imitation of the typical human: weak, cowardly, "a critique of the whole human race." On a possibly related note, Frank Miller (and others before him) saw Superman as an embodiment of the American superpower: proud, mighty, and blinkered. (He set him in opposition to Batman, the American id.)

So who/what is Superman? It seems pretty certain that Superman, like every icon, is all of the above, and more. The test of a good icon is its ability to absorb a multitude of interpretations. Like mine, for example: Superman, clearly, is a vertically challenged entertainment writer from North Carolina. What's the Kryptonite in this metaphor? Oh, like I'm telling you.


Scott Brown | 06.15.06, 06:00 AM

[Rainbow Dash]

How bout just plain too overpowered to make a comeback?

[Altima]

How bout just plain too overpowered to make a comeback?

I agree, I always liked batman and spider-man more because they weren't god-like.

[Gamerlen]

I agree, I always liked batman and spider-man more because they weren't god-like.

Same here. At least Batman and Spiderman were halfway believeable.

Lets break this down... (as the world screams in horror because Len is about to begin an American comic superhero rant)

1. He's an alien. Ok, this is just right off the bat hard to believe. He's an alien who SOMEHOW is from a planet where the dominant species is IDENTICAL to humans. Scientists believe that there may be as many as a billion planets capable of supporting life, with the odds 1:1,000,000,000 that Supe's homeworld would have beings that are that close to us is pretty damn farfetched.

2. He gets his powers from the yellow sun. So how's that work exactly? And wouldn't that make him a normal human at nighttime? And how exactly does a yellow sun make him capable of feats such as lifting things thousands of times his own weight and size, not to mention flight, heat vision, and such.

3. Kryptonite. Here's the big one. His one and only weakness.
Ok, Kryptonite is pieces of his home planet Krypton that through some sheer matter of luck, divine intervention, or a lazy scriptwriter managed to hurtle through the infinite reaches of space, enter the atmosphere without burning up, and land on the exact same planet that he did. You'd think that this would make it the rarest element on Earth but somehow Lex Luthor, Braniac, and all the other villians seem to have a near endless supply of it. WHAT THE HELL!

4. His backstory sucks.

Spiderman: I'm fighting crime because a burglar killed my Uncle in cold blood and I could've stopped him before it ever happened!

Batman: I'm fighting crime because a mugger shot and killed both my parents infront of me when I was a kid!

Superman: I'm fighting crime because I damn well feel like it!

'nuff said.

5. Where the hell did all the other Superbeings come from?

First it was Superman, then suddenly Supergirl appears on the scene, next there's *insert faux echo voice here* Krypto the Wonder Dooooooooog, then Streaky the Wonder Cat, then that Horse, and so on and so on. JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE! I THOUGHT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONLY SURVIVOR!

6. Clark Kent.

Ok, so he's Superman. He can punch his way through a mountain with his head and feel no pain, he can fly into outer space and survive without any protection from cold or lack of oxygen, he can see through walls, he can run faster than any car the most deranged NASCAR fans could cook up, and he's got the body of a male supermodel...

Yet he works as Mild Mannered Clark FUCKING Kent, a news reporter at a daily newspaper, one of the lowest paying jobs in the country. If you ask me, the "S" on his shirt means something besides Super.

And thats all I got for now. Superman is the cheapest hero in the history of American comics. He can take his skintight blue leotard and shiney red booties and fly his ass back to where Krypton used to be for all I care. I'll stick to my Japanese Mangas.

[Zips]

He's a fantasy superhero... there's absolutely no need to overanalyze it like that.

[king kuppy]

Superman is A)gay!!!

[Harsh]

i dont get how people cant tell who super man is with just GLASSES!!

-takes off glasses- IM SUPPER MAN!
-puts on glasses- im Clark Kent!!

i dont get it...
and i think superman is A. gay. i like batman better :D

[Gamerlen]

He's a fantasy superhero... there's absolutely no need to overanalyze it like that.

Yeah, but theres a fine line between being fantasy and being so goddamn unbelieveable that its ridiculous.

[[PhiberOpticks]]

Batman is cooler, but they can't make any more than 1 good movie out of the greatest super hero of all time.

[Zips]

Yeah, but theres a fine line between being fantasy and being so goddamn unbelieveable that its ridiculous.
Just what do you think "fantasy" means .... Considering the realm of dragons and magic and such are well within the realm of "Fantasy" in the common sense. So why is some super powerful man so much more absurd than those things?

[Seraph Zero]

Superman... Cheap piece-of-shit superhero. I'm going to go with the overpowered thing here... There's really nothing that can stop him. Where's the challenge, the fight, the bravery? He's gone god-mode!

And like Len said, the back story is horrible. He has no reason to fight crime, no true driving force. He's completely devoid of any internal conflict- his past is not checkered like that of Batman, Spider-Man, Wolverine, or any other superhero. Sure, home planet blew up, big whoop. He was too young to remember it, so it's kind of a non-issue.

Oh, and the only person who poses any threat is... a weakling rich boy. Kryptonite only does so much good, and when Lex eventually gets to a point where he doesn't have any on him... Superman fails to do the sane thing and snap his neck in half. It would be so easy! I don't get why he doesn't just end the obnoxious little prick's life... it just seems pointless to let him live...

~Seraph

[nightsavior]

Believe it or not I don't completly hate superman. As a kid I grew up on the Christopher Reeves movies and loved them. I'd say I do like what superman represents...Truth and justice.


However I agree he is insanely over powered . If they just gave him a few more minute weaknesses besides just Kryptonite it would be alot better and he'd seem more down to earth.

As for his motivations...What if he's just a nice guy that wants to do the right thing? People don't always need a tragedy as motivation to be better people.

Now onto his costume...I just don't like it. Maybe its the goth fashion facist in me but I think his suit would look better with darker colors....Maybe blue for the symbol + cape and the main suit being a very dark grey , purple, or just black.

[Nickelback]

Superman should just die. It'd make the movie alot better imo.

[Night]

They should make the "Superman Is Dead!" movie
I've always rooted for Lex Luthor over superman... he's too overpowered and disinteresting, wheras Lex is a powerhungry intuitive genius.

[Chicken Little]

Same here. At least Batman and Spiderman were halfway believeable.

Of course, we all know billionaires contain a broken well whichleads to acave near a waterfall which you cant hear from your premesis which then leads to the fetish with bats. And we all know that radioactive spiders will give the person superduper special spidey abilities instead of perhaps killing the schmuck since its venom and all. Being an alien being is such a cheap cop out when we have these far fetched concepts as our disposal.


1. He's an alien. Ok, this is just right off the bat hard to believe. He's an alien who SOMEHOW is from a planet where the dominant species is IDENTICAL to humans. Scientists believe that there may be as many as a billion planets capable of supporting life, with the odds 1:1,000,000,000 that Supe's homeworld would have beings that are that close to us is pretty damn farfetched.

Theyre using a concept where people can relate directly to how the character looks, would prefer 'yet another hero who looks like a fuckstick and thus is hated by the human populace' scenario, especially since he was created as DC's main man in 1938 and Marvel countered with Captain America in 1941, DC were less obvious in their war propaganda, since supes didnt exactly rush off to bitchslap germans and japanese in his comics.

2. He gets his powers from the yellow sun. So how's that work exactly? And wouldn't that make him a normal human at nighttime? And how exactly does a yellow sun make him capable of feats such as lifting things thousands of times his own weight and size, not to mention flight, heat vision, and such.

omgawdzorz, teh cosmic alienzorz liek draws teh powa of a celestial bodeh in teh space!!11 SHANANIGANS! I suggest you read wiki under his powers and abilities section, as you would know supes powers have been changed numerous times as has his association with the sun. SInc eim so nice however heres the transcript

The source of Superman's powers changes subtly over the course of his history. It is originally said that Superman's abilities derive from his Kryptonian heritage, a race eons more evolved than humans. Soon it is established that Krypton's gravity had been stronger than Earth's, a situation similar to that of Edgar Rice Burroughs' John Carter. As Superman becomes increasingly godlike, the implication that all Kryptonians had possessed the same abilities became problematic for writers, making it doubtful that a race of such beings could have been wiped out by something as trifling as an exploding planet. In part to counter this, the Superman writers established that Kryptonians, whose native star had been red, only possessed superpowers under the light of a yellow sun. More recent stories have attempted to find a balance between the two explanations.

3. Kryptonite. Here's the big one. His one and only weakness.
Ok, Kryptonite is pieces of his home planet Krypton that through some sheer matter of luck, divine intervention, or a lazy scriptwriter managed to hurtle through the infinite reaches of space, enter the atmosphere without burning up, and land on the exact same planet that he did. You'd think that this would make it the rarest element on Earth but somehow Lex Luthor, Braniac, and all the other villians seem to have a near endless supply of it. WHAT THE HELL!

You left out the radioactivity aspect, but thats understandable since its obvious you dislike him that much. Now we know the planet was blown to itty bitty sticky bits, now considering his ship was still intact from when he landed, and he was set off just prior to krypton exploding, is it at all possible that meteor fragments + whatever was broguht along with the ship (either embedded or in the grav well generated by it) could have landed on earth?

Nah course not. And its not like superman can destroy the kryptonite so how do you know theyre not just reusing it over and over again?


Spiderman: I'm fighting crime because a burglar killed my Uncle in cold blood and I could've stopped him before it ever happened!

Batman: I'm fighting crime because a mugger shot and killed both my parents infront of me when I was a kid!

Superman: I'm fighting crime because I damn well feel like it!

'nuff said.


You do realise that the cave of solitude was also in the comics, and as such what transpired in the movie (where his father maintains that he wants him to look over and help the human race) is the basic jist of it. But i forget that every single super hero needs a traumatic experience to spur them on to the hero fighting business...rather then just cause daddy said so.


First it was Superman, then suddenly Supergirl appears on the scene, next there's *insert faux echo voice here* Krypto the Wonder Dooooooooog, then Streaky the Wonder Cat, then that Horse, and so on and so on. JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE! I THOUGHT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONLY SURVIVOR!

1958 DC writers revealed that Kal-El was not the only one sent to earth, his cousin Kara Zor-El was also sent (Supergirl) in the 1980s when everythign was pretty much owned! She became a clone created by Lex Luthor

The Last son of Krypton was the Eradicator, who prior to kryptons explosion tried to create an armed uprising and was pwnd and reprogrammedto preserve the culture of Krypton. Steel was saved by Superman, so after the death of superman(92??) he donned the ceremonial big S red cape cept completely copvered in steel weilding a big fuck off hammer. The new Superboy is also a clone (there wasa cloning thing by Lex to fuck over superman but it didnt go so well) Man of Tomorrow was an evil cyborg who was created by some dude who worked for nasa and beamed his mind into the shuttle that superman came in.

Ok, so he's Superman. He can punch his way through a mountain with his head and feel no pain, he can fly into outer space and survive without any protection from cold or lack of oxygen, he can see through walls, he can run faster than any car the most deranged NASCAR fans could cook up, and he's got the body of a male supermodel...

Yet he works as Mild Mannered Clark FUCKING Kent, a news reporter at a daily newspaper, one of the lowest paying jobs in the country. If you ask me, the "S" on his shirt means something besides Super.[quote]

And spidey works as a photographer, what better way to see how the media would gauge what you are then by working for them? And supe can fly in space for as long as he can hold his breath...hence why after any strenuous activity or whatnot he goes hurdling back to earth with a loud thud.

[quote]And thats all I got for now. Superman is the cheapest hero in the history of American comics. He can take his skintight blue leotard and shiney red booties and fly his ass back to where Krypton used to be for all I care. I'll stick to my Japanese Mangas.

And you got nuthin besides misinformation and personal bias, while im not a fan of supes myself at least i know of the different storylines and whatnot that can be concocted by comic companies.

[Benzine]

5. Where the hell did all the other Superbeings come from?

First it was Superman, then suddenly Supergirl appears on the scene, next there's *insert faux echo voice here* Krypto the Wonder Dooooooooog, then Streaky the Wonder Cat, then that Horse, and so on and so on. JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE! I THOUGHT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONLY SURVIVOR!




If you've got a problem with Krypto my superdog, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY SO.